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I've started reading a lot on infertility though recently I've been focusing on the emotional/mental side. Intially most of my personal research was online (faster, easier, free!) though I've read a few books too. I'm pretty much through all the basics of fertility treatments, so I've skipped to the more in-depth IVF books. For anyone going through fertility issues or close to someone going through it.. I recommend the following books. I have also ordered a few others. I'll update later once I've read those. (These link to Amazon just b/c I copied the titles from there to speed up writing).
1 - Conquering Infertility: Dr. Alice Domar's Mind/Body Guide to Enhancing... By: Alice D. Domar, Alice Lesch Kelly
This one was recommended to me by my therapist. I started seeing her b/c infertility is one of her specialties and around last fall I started having a harder time dealing with my feelings about this process. She recommended this book in one of our first sessions. I skipped around a lot as I read this.. depending on where we were in our cycles. There are a lot of coping skills that are mind/body techniques (google mind body medicine if you want to learn more) plus it shares a lot of stories from other women. I suggest reading sections as they apply to you (I think it would be very stressful and upsetting to read the chapter "When Miracles Don't Happen:Coping when Treatment Fails" in the midst of treatment. But I flipped straight to that chapter the day after finding out our IVF cycle did not work). I also have found this book to be the kind of book that you want to reread, specifically if you are having trouble in certain areas. The chapter titles are very helpful in directing you to sections you need most. The day I got the book, I skipped ahead to 2 chapters.. first "Coping When Everyone But You Has a Baby" and then "Infertility and your Career". At that time, those were the two areas I was struggling with most. I definitely recommend this one regardless of where you are in your fertility struggles. It is not IVF specific.
2 - Nurturing Yourself Through IVF: Improve Your Experience, Maximize Your Odds of Success [Paperback] By: Lynn Daley (Author)
I found this one on Amazon as I searched for books that were more focused on IVF. Many of the other books I had found were too basic. IVF is one of the more advanced infertility treatments and as such, it can be more difficult to deal with both the physical & emotional aspects. I wasn't sure what to expect from this one but was pleased with it. Don't be disappointed when you see it, as I was initially, it is very short but worthwhile. Daley expands on (and references frequently) Domar's concepts from Conquering Infertility. Though this one does focus on IVF, I would say most of the advice can be used at any stage of infertility. I wish I'd found this one just before starting IVF instead of after one full cycle. In this case, the author is neither a doctor or psychologist, but just a regular person who went through IVF several times. She talks a lot about both her own experiences and those of other women she met along the way. Not everything in the book will apply to all people (I found I did not relate one iota to the section on superstition, but apparently some women do become superstitious during this process) but you should find that the majority of it is very helpful. She focuses on putting yourself first, 'editing your world' (such as avoiding baby showers if they make you uncomfortable), and the mind-body connection. This is again one that is good to read once, but more useful to reread & reference as needed. She also references lots of other resources along the way.
3 - Is Your Body Baby-Friendly?: Unexplained Infertility, Miscarriage & IVF Failure - Explained and Treated [Paperback] By: Alan E. Beer (Author)
I found out about this book from my online friends, specifically from the leader of a bulletin board that I frequent. [Sidebar: I've read lots of other message boards in the past but found they became an obsession, not only for me, but for the other women. When I was going through the last 3 or 4 rounds of Clomid, I joined a board focusing on Clomid. Though I thought having other women in the same boat to talk to would be helpful (and it usually is), this was not! These women posted to the board at least daily, but often more than that. During a Clomid cycle, you must take medicine for several days (for me it was days 3-7) and then you 'try' at home during a certain timeframe. Then you wait. And wait. If you are reading and posting daily, you will go crazy during a Clomid cycle. Though you can never truly forget about trying to conceive, I found during Clomid I had to distract myself. Reading & responding to those posts so frequently actually made me feel worse instead of better. Point of the story is that online message/bulletin boards are useful, but find one that is helpful for you, if you feel worse after visiting your board, then maybe you should move on.] Anyway, the leader of this board has had several (about 5 I think) failed IVF cycles and is a few years younger than me (this is not the norm with the women I meet.. usually they are older than me). She has reached a point where they cannot figure out why IVF will not work. She's going to a specialist in IVF failures now and one of his colleagues, Alan Beer, wrote this book and was founder of Alan E Beer Center of Reproductive Immunology and Genetics. She caught my attention when she mentioned a family history of Rheumatoid Arthritis as my DF was diagnosed with RA in his early forties. I've not received this one yet (should be here any day now) and I'm anxiously awaiting it. Beer focuses on the 5 types of immune system responses that can cause reproductive failure (including IVF failure & miscarriage). This link was also mentioned in "Nurturing Yourself Through IVF" (previous review). I'm hoping to get through this one before our next consult with the RE. At the very least, I will be asking him about this type of testing. I don't want to go another IVF cycle without at least testing for this immune problem in case it could help us with treatment.
